We all know Kanye West is stupid. In fact, he may in fact be retarded. But now he's gone and done something no one can ignore and brush off as simply eccentric. He needs help and I think only the Pasturelands West Neo-Educational Doctrine's (PWNED) 12-step recovery program can help.

1. Admit you are stupid, your actions have gone from being awkwardly and misguidedly eccentric to being unfathomably stupid; but you no longesr have control over the stupid.
2. Come to believe that there is a power greater than yourself that can restore your sanity (Jay-Z).
3. Turn your will and your life over to Jay-Z as you understand Him.
4. Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of your life. Make special note of the fact that the president called you a jackass; and while 49% of the US thinks he’s a terrorist, communist, or at least vaguely Muslim, everyone agreed with his assessment of you.  
5. Admit to Jay-Z, yourself, and Beyonce (not in that order) the exact nature of your stupidity (see #4).
6. When you are entirely ready, have Jay-Z remove all these defects of character by mentioning on the Tonight Show that he might work with you some day.
7. Humbly ask Him to produce your next album.
8. Make a list of people you’ve harmed (the US Census is in 2010, that list is a good start), and become willing to make amends to all of them.
9. Make direct amends to as many people as possible, but start with that sweet child you humiliated on national TV the other day.
10. Continue to take personal inventory and realize that your kind of self-centeredness and stupidity is unfathomable to the rest of us and likely based in hard-wiring of the brain and really isn’t curable.
11. Pray for constant contact with Jay-Z and for His will to show throughout your remaining years.
12. Release an album produced by Jay-Z and carry the message of the horrors of being stupid and self-obsessed to others as you appear on as many talk shows as exist. You’ll know you’ve recovered when Ellen accepts you onto her show.

... but not this time of year.

I first saw him about a week ago. He's exactly like the other hummingbirds, but in desert cammo. Like if you saw and F-16 painted for jungle warfare and another painted for desert warfare. He was just like the normal birds, but painted khaki rather than olive drab.

So today got some photos of Stan.



See him near the left globe light?



So cool.



Most look like this guy. I love the retractable landing gear.

It's time already. Two years ago last May, I was ready to take over the world because someone of no consequence now pissed me off. I applied for a job that I didn't get until August, but I was so sure it was going to happen that, before I even had the interview, I bought the howdaddyisdoing.com domain name and set plans to live in the California desert. In some ways, I feel that I made it happen by pure force of will. Maybe I did.

No regrets.

QTY

ITEM

PRICE

1

.COM Domain Name Renewal - 2 Years

$20.04

HOWDADDYISDOING.COM

1

Private Registration Services - Renewal Length: 2.0000 Year(s)

$17.98

HOWDADDYISDOING.COM

Subtotal:   $38.02

Shipping & Handling:   $0.00

Tax:   $0.00

Total:   $38.02

See you here for two more years (PS, it was $200 to commit two years ago, so it was a much bigger commitment for someone who hadn't even interviewed yet).

The radio show This American Life has been a good part of my life since the Liverpool 1.0 days (2003-2005, when I lived in the studio apartment in Liverpool, NY). It was my internet radio companion and I not only listened to every episode, I listened to most more than three times. After a while, I got Kelly into it too, so we became broadcast friends of it on WRVO in Syracuse.

Once you get past the hipster cliché vibe of the early episodes, the program becomes really fascinating. Ira Glass hones his craft into something meaningful after a while. And recent programs have not only been actually on theme, but relevant.

But different from all of them was this one. Please go to the link and listen.

Comment when you have listened.

"Seriously, I've gotta clean out my car; I've been living like a S*****r [my last name].

"Your truck isn't a tractor, you know. You need to clean it out."

At a quarter to five'o clock this morning, Tyson starts crowing and wakes me up. Just then, as if on cue, Amanda comes up to rub under my hand for some lovin'. Then Kelly rolls over and makes sleeping noises in my face.

And it's ten minutes before I need to get up so I can be to work at 6:00, to beat all of the people who are working for me on the current project into work, so they all understand the urgency and level of commitment it takes. And I'm thinking about all the misguided trust those people have in me and the misguided trust Kelly and the critters we've purposely or situationally taken under out care haven in me.
 
If they all only knew how irresponsible and lazy I am at heart and how a part of me just wants to get in the car and drive west.

Except that I am west. And there's no place further to run to. I've already fled, and took some of my charges with me. So here we are and we've dug in.

So at 4:45, I look about and assess the critters in my charge. I like that people and animals chose to depend on me and I like that I chose to be dependable for them. I work a lot and I'm tired, but my life is pretty good, and some people and critters are better off because they live with or near me and because I do what I do for them.

I'm an adult.